As young coaches, we are often bound by a pressure that shows a more external result: the wins and losses attached to our name.
We are so focused on how our teams look and play because of our ego. However, many times we see coaches in high schools and even at the college level lasting for an extended period of time compared to the average coach that bounces around. Certainly part of this can come with a long list of program accomplishments and a high winning percentage, but another factor is the intrinsic value that many young athletes crave. More specifically, your players are longing for someone outside of their own family who will love them and hold them accountable to be the best human beings they can be.
Think about those coaches you played for and still keep in touch with—what did they do that impacted you? Did they yell and scream until they were blue in the face because you missed a bunt sign? Were they “all business” and seemingly incapable of having a conversation outside of the “x’s and o’s”?
Or did they constantly have a smile on their face? Always checking on you, your family, your grades and asking if you need any help?
For years, young coaches such as myself went into this industry trying to prove a point to those experienced, successful coaches by trying to win at all costs. We thought this was the only way to earn respect in the business, and through nothing but experience and our fair share of losses, we learned how it really is, and what “success” truly means.
Success doesn’t necessarily correlate with wins and losses, but instead it’s the feelings and the memories. Seeing someone graduate that they had to push for four years because they know their worth, attending the wedding of a former player, or even receiving a text from a player who got a college scholarship thanking them for everything the coach has done during their time. That’s success, to me anyways.
Of course it’s nice to win, to dogpile and to have the ring ceremonies, but as a coach, that shouldn’t be your only goal and reason for why you coach. The most successful coaches I know have quality programs and show interest in their players, regardless of their role on the team or ability level. Now, will you get through to every player in your program? Sadly, no. But as a coach, it’s so important to show your true intent and purpose as to why you do what you do for a living (or your “labor of love” for that matter). This is best shown by demonstrating consistency and positivity, constantly showing them through your actions, your words, and how you treat them. Taking interest in their lives, academics, families, and even their interests is so important to your players. Just taking a few seconds in the beginning of practice to see how the guys are doing goes a long way in their eyes.
If you’re in the school building as a teacher, that’s even better because you get to see another side of your players in an academic and social setting. A simple handshake, high five or fist bump gives them that connection and shows that you care about them as humans. Make that extra effort and you’ll be surprised at how amazing your kids are outside of the ball field!